Breaking the rules
by xXLilyxPeacockXx
Summary: All the things not to do at Hogwarts...done.
1. Hufflepuffs

Disclaimer: I own nothing...

Co-written by Zemishly.

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1).

**I will not make fun of Hufflepuffs because their house colors make them look like bees.**

"bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.hehehe…" Cedric Diggory turned around furiously to see Lily sitting behind him grinning. He had been trying to copy down the notes Professor Trelawny had written on the board when he had heard the buzzing noise in his ear.

"What?" Cedric hissed. Lily didn't answer but instead handed him a note.

_How doth the little busy bee_

_Improve each shining hour_

_And gather honey all the day_

_From every opening flower?_

Cedric, in response, just glared and turned back around.

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	2. Steve Irwin

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Co-written by Zemishly

We really love Steve...we're not making fun of him.

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2).

**I will not imitate Steve Irwin while in Care Of Magical Creatures Class**

"Cry key mate! I think tha's a Hippogriff back thar'." Cora giggled out as they walked down the hill to Care Of Magical Creatures.

Lily laughed, making her hands into binoculars and pretending to be amazed. "Why…I think it tis! Today mates we're going to see Hippogriffs in thar natural 'abitat."

The two burst out laughing, almost falling down the hill in the process. As they stopped with the rest of the group, Lily continued to whisper in her very bad aussie accent. Cora was giggling hysterically at her, trying to hide it behind her hand.

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	3. Giant Squid

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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3). _**The Giant Squid is NOT an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.**

"I asked Dean. He's wonderful! Who did you ask?" Lavender looked over at Cora.

"The Giant Squid. He said no though...something having lungs, I don't recall."

Lavender Brown looked oddly at her roommate. "Lily, who did _you_ ask?"

"The Giant Squid."Lavender made a face. "He's quite romantic though. I mean once you look passed the monstrous weight and daunting features."

"If you don't he ends up looking like a cross between Professor Snape and Hagrid." Cora commented as they walked into potions class.

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	4. Darkmarks

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Cowritten by Zemishly_

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4). _**If a classmate falls asleep I will not take advantage of the fact and draw a darkmark on their arm.**

"Ow! Cora...great now the snake looks fat!" Lily hissed to her best friend.

They were currently squatting down next to Justin Finch-Fletchley, who had fallen asleep in the library. Lily, equip with sharpies and always having a steadier hand, was administring a lovely temporary tattoo to Justin's arm.

"Sorry. It doesn't look fat. You're just being body consuis again. Crap...Madam Pince. Come on!!Hurry!!"Cora hissed back, glancing between two empty books. Lily finished and the two ran behind the nearest bookshelf, peeking trough.

"WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME!!MR. FLETCHLEY!!" The two girls laughed and high-fived.

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	5. Umbridge's Quill

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Co-written with Zemishly

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5). _**I will NOT use Umbridge's quill to write 'I told you I was hardcore.'**

"What is that?" Cora looked over at Lily's hand.

"Oh my god what happened?"Hermione exclaimed, looking very upset. On Lily's hand were the word's I TOLD YOU I WAS HARDCORE craved with Umbridge's quill.

"Lily. Really that's the third time this week...trying writing something else please. And stop writing near my bed, I don't appreciate the lovely stains on my uniform!"Cora said, looking uninterested.

"Sorry."

Hermione just sat there...not sure if she should be horrified or disturbed.

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	6. Houseelves

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly. No house-elves were harmed in the making of this drabble._

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_6)._**House-elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.**

Cora pulled the two bats out of her bag, handing one to Lily. Oliver Wood had not permitted them to use Bludgers in practice, but Lily had promised she had found a better substitution.

Lily smiled and pulled the invisiblity clock, which she had 'borrowed' from Harry, off of two unconscious, floating House-elves.

"Are you sure about this?" Cora asked, eyeing the two.

"Course. It's great fun."Lily stated before casting a flying charm on them. Cora shrugged and mounted her broom.

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	7. Betting Pools

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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7). **Creating a betting pool on this year's Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor is tasteless and tacky, not a good money making scheme.**

"A year!"

"Two years."

Cora looked at Seamus and shook her head sadly. "Really Seamus? Two whole years...you've got to be kidding me."

"This one looks lively though." Dean commented, pointing up to Professor R. J. Lupin, who was sitting at the Teacher's table.

"Oh so lively...oh my god! I think he half-stood!" Cora mocked.

"Fine, fine. Two years I say though. 10 galleons on two years."

"I say half a year. 10 galleons says he doesn't even make it a whole year!" Cora exclaimed back.

Just then Fred,George, Dean, and a few others chortled in with their bets. Cora just smiled.

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	8. Lucky Charms

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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8).**Seamus Finnigan is NOT after me lucky charms.**_

"Uh...Iris, what are you doing?" Cora looked oddly at Iris, who sat on the couch in the common room, clutching a box of cereal and looking around.

She jumped up suddenly, looking over at the steps to the boys dorm. Seamus Finnigan had just come downstairs. Iris yelped and started running frantically around the common room. Lily sighed and grabbed Iris by her collar.

"Iris! For the last time...Seamus is not after your LUCKY CHARMS!!"Lily yelled.

"Besides he's allergic to marsh-mellows."Cora sighed.

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	9. Wizard of Oz

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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9).**I will NOT sing ''We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz'' when being sent to the Headmaster's office.**

"OH!!WE'RE OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! THE WONDERFUL WIZARD OF OZ...BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSE, BECAUSSSSSSEEEEE, OF ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS HE DOES!!"Lily, Iris and Cora, arms linked, skipped down the hall toward Dumbledore's office.

At the sound of their overly loud voices people stopped and turned, laughing and pointing at the three girls.

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	10. Flea Collar

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Cowritten by Zemishly_

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10).**Lupin does NOT want a flea collar.**

Remus sat in his office starring at the box on his desk. He didn't see Iris peeking around the door frame. He unwrapped the box and opened the top pulling out a collar...a flea collar.

Iris smiled, covering her mouth with her hand to keep herself quiet as Remus looked oddly at the collar. Sighing, he shoved the collar back in the box and threw it into the corner of the room.

"Didn't I tell you not to get him a flea collar?" Iris turned to see Cora, who was also smiling despite her warning.

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	11. Magic 8 Ball

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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11)._**I will NOT bring a magic 8 ball to Divination Class**

"I'm telling you Professor Trelawny. There's nothing more powerful. You know my aunt possesses the 'inner eye.' Her name is Miss Talula. She swears by it." Iris said, handing Professor Trelawny a round black ball with an 8 on it.

"If you say so." Professor Trelawny said. She took the ball from Iris' hands and shook it violently. She peered nervously into the small window to see the words 'in your near future' appear. "YES!"

"What did you ask?"

"If the gods were going to come soon and punish Professor Umbridge into the land of the beyond for her ston-age thinking and closed off mind." Iris nodded and smiled before running out of the room.

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	12. Prefect's Bathroom

_Dislciamer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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12)_**I will NOT change the password of the Prefect's bathroom as ''makes getting clean almost as fun as getting dirty.''**

Cora snickered as she saw Cedric Diggory walk up to the Prefect's bathroom. Quidditch practice had jut ended. During which time Cora had sucessfully convinced the painting guarding the bathroom to change her password.

Cedric stood outside the bathroom scowling. He had tried 75 different passwords that he could think of and nothing worked. Dinner was halfway done and he was starving.

"May I suggest something?" Cora asked, coming over to stand next to Cedric.

"Sure." Cedric knew she was Lily's friend. He couldn't imagine this going well.

"It makes getting clean almost as fun as getting dirty." The portait swung open and Cedric turned bck to look at her.

Cora just winked and walked away.

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	13. Suspense

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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_13)_**Asking 'how do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense' and then walking away is only funny the first time.**

"HARRY!HARRY!!" Lily yelled furiously, running down the hall after the Golden Trio.

"Yeah?"Harry asked, turning around and stopping.

"How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?"With that Lily bolted off down the hall again.

Harry saw Iris standing there watching her laughing.

"You know, it's really only funny the first time. I don't know why you're laughing." Harry said, referring to the fact that Lily had been saying that everyday for the past two weeks.

"Yeah I know...but I just got it."

Harry just shook his head and walked off with Hermione and Ron.

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	14. Life Insurance Policys

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Disclaimer: I own nothing

_Co-written by Zemishly. 14 and 15 are combine because they go together. _

_BTW: This one doesn't happen in the HP world. It's our friend Janae(a.k.a-Iris)in the real world._

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14)_**I will NOT take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter**

_15)_**I will NOT take out a life insurance policy on the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor**

"But why not?" Janae asked curiously starring at the woman behind the desk.

"Because ms. Carmer, I have told already it is not appropriate to take out life insurance policys on fictional characters."

"WHAT?Harry Potter is not a fictional character! And besides, I haven't read book 7 yet...so...what if he dies!"Janae whipped out a tissue and started wiping fake tears.

"Ms. Carmer." The woman said trying again to reason with the girl.

"Fine! How about Remus Lupin? Or Gilderoy Lockhart? Or Alastor Moody?" Janae asked, looking hopeful again.

"Ms. Carmer...you cannot take out life insurance policys on non-existent beings. And besides no one in their right mind would take out a policy on Lockhart." The woman said.

"True." Janae stated.

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	15. Firebolt

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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_16)_**I will NOT sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.**

"Uhh...Lily...OH MY GOD!IS THAT MY BROOM!!"Harry came running over and ripped the broom out of Lily's hands.

"Maybe...I don't know Percy was all "sweep the common room' and I was all 'with what' and he was all get a broom from the broom closet." Lily stated, changing her voice to mock Percy.

"Which broom closet did you take it from."

"The one with the Q on it. Though like why would you put a Q on a broom closet that's jus...oh" Lily said, grimicaing.

"Yeah. Oh."Harry stated, looking extremely unhappy.

"Sorry...Gotta go bye!!"Lily said running out of the common room as fast as possible. Harry dropped his broom into the closet and took off after her.

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	16. Sock Puppets

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-Written by Zemishly_

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17)**I will NOT use socks to make puppets of the Slytherin Mascot**

Iris and Cora starred oddly at Lily. She sat at the breakfast table, her elbows resting on the surface, with a sock on each hand. She was making weird hissing noises and launching her hands at each other like they were alive.

"Lily?Umm...what are you doing?"Cora asked nervously.

"Haha...they're snakes...grrr-hisss...haha."Lily smiled goofy.

"Right...cuz that's so normal."

Lily pulled off one of the socks and whipped out a gold sock with fluff glued to it. She slipped it on and made a roaring sound before making it look like the gold sock ate the other one. Iris and Cora just looked down at their food embrassed.

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	17. Fluffy

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly.No first years were harmed in the making of this ficlet...well maybe just one...j/k_

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18)_**First years are NOT to be feed to Fluffy**

"I swear on my Prefect's Badge!"Cora said, pushing the first years into a room.

"You're a prefect?"Iris said curiously.

"Iris."

"Oh right. This way...really it's a huge party we swear...it's tons of fun trust me."Iris said patting the back of the first year ahead of her.

The three first years just nodded as Iris and Cora led them to the other end of the room. They stopped in front of a large oak door.

"Alohamora."Cora muttered, flicking her wand. "Have fun!"

They shoved the first years in the room and ran...behind them the sound of three screams and a large dog.

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	18. Drumming

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_The song is Werewolves of London by Warren Zevon._

_Co-Written by Zemishly_

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19)**A wand is for magic ONLY, NOT drumming on desks...no matter how bored you are.**

"Ya heard him howling around your kitchen door, ya better not let him in. Little old lady got mutilated late last night. Werewolves of London again. aaahoooooooooooooooooooooooo...werewolves of London."Cora was singing quietly while they were waiting for DADA class to start. She had taken Lily's wand and was now using her's and Lily's to keep rhythm while she sang.

"While the tune is perfect for drumming may I suggest a different song before class starts." Iris said, leaning forward in her chair.

"Fine. One more though?"

"No."

"But..."

"Professor Lupin!"Iris hissed. Cora nodded and turned back to face the front.

Professor Lupin started talking about Boggarts when he heard a very annoying drumming noise. He turned from the board to see Cora drumming away on her desk and humming. He walked over and reached out, grabbing the wands out of Cora's hands. Cora stopped and looked up to see a no-so-happy Professor Lupin starring at her. She just smiled sheepishly and pulled out a quill and some paper and started taking notes.

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	19. FireWhiskey

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-Written by Zemishly_

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20)_**Gryffindors courage does not come in bottles labeled FireWhiskey.**

"Are you sure about this?"Iris asked Lily cautiously.

"Sure I'm sure. Lily I have I ever steered you wrong?"

"Well-"

"It was a rhetorical question Lil. Come on, we have to get back to the common room."Iris said, cutting off Lily.

Lily and Iris walked back up to the Gryffindor common room. Cora was sitting on the floor, playing exploding snaps with Harry and Ron. She had been told by Iris to gather their friends in the common room for some 'fun.'

Sitting in the common room was all the Weasley's, The Quidditch team, Lavender Brown, Pavarti Patil, Hermione, and the Creevey brothers. Iris smiled at the turn out and dropped her bag on the table. She opened it and pulled out some bottles, one for each person. On the bottle it read 'Gryffindor Courage.'

_21)_**Charming the labels does not change anything**

Laying in random, and some embarrassing, positions all over the common room were the group of friends. All had passed out from FireWhiskey and chances were the hang-overs they were going to have in the morning would not be welcomed.

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	20. Dragons and Cats

_Disclamer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

_I would tell you that Crookshanks was not harmed in the making of ficlet...but who really cares._

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22)_**It is generally accepted that dragons and cats CANNOT be interbreed, no matter how wicked the results would be.**

"I'm telling you Hermione, there's really no need to worry. I'm sure Crookshanks is fine. He probably just went on a walk...you know how he is."Iris sat next to Hermione in the common room, comforting her, while Cora snuck behind them and out the door, Crookshanks in her arms.

Once Iris had made Hermione feel better she cut out of the common room and down to Hagrid's hut. Cora was standing there holding Crookshanks and looking extremely impatient. Without saying anything to Iris she motioned for her to follow and hurried into the forest.

They came to the dragon cages, seeing them sleeping. Cora snuck up to one, the Hungarian Horntail, and dropped Crookshanks into the cage. The dragon sniffed a bit before it's eyes and starring a Crookshanks. Cora and Iris ran behind a bush, farther away of course. They smiled at each other and high-fved. This was their greatest experiment ever.

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	21. Pumpkin Juice

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

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_23)_**I will NOT replace Madam Pomfrey's skele-gro with pumpkin juice.**

Madam Promfrey stood over her patient's bed. She could not figure out why the Skele-gro was not working. That was the second time this week she had had to use it and it hadn't worked. Thinking of something she hurried back to her office and opened the cabinet. She pulled out the skele-gro and poured some into a cup.

"Oh for goodness sake!"She sheriked, rushing out of the hospital to go find Dumbledore. Her skele-gro had been replaced with Pumpkin juice...again.

Lily sat up on her hospital bed and smiled at Madam Pomfrey's back. She loved that one.

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	22. Skelegro

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-Written by Zemishly_

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_24)_**I will NOT replace Snape's Pumpkin Juice with Skele-gro**

Cora sat in the chair and sighed heavily. Iris, who was on the brink of being expelled with the number of pranks she had pulled so far, had talked her into taking the blame for her most recent scheme. Snape, who had grown about 7 inches taller in the last 2 minutes, was fuming and glaring at her. Dumbledore stood behind his desk examining the two, deciding on the proper punishment.

"Professor Dumbledore? I really didn't mean it. I was trying to help Madam Pomfrey by delivering medicine to Professor Flitwick and I thought I had gotten the right vile. I wasn't sure where he was sitting either. I'm really sorry Professors...it was an honest mistake." Cora explained.

Dumbledore nodded and let her off with a detention with Pomfrey. Snape was fuming again and glaring even more at her. Cora thanked them and rushed out the door and down the steps to see Iris standing there looking nervous. Cora smiled at her and nodded.

_25)_**It was NOT an honest mistake**

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	23. Crucifixes

_Disclaimer:I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

_I haven't been doing this but I'm starting now- thanks to **00jade,CullenCrazy32,Lynn,and JasmineLupin** for reviewing!!You guys are awesome!_

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26)_**Crucifixes do NOT ward off Slytherins, and I should NOT test that**

Iris, Cora and Lily sat together on the stairs, giggling and whispering. Iris looked up and nudged Cora. Draco, Blaise, Pansy and some other unknown(not important)Slytherin came their way.

"Move mudblood." Draco drawled to them. Lily was the only mudblood of them but it was directed at all of them.

"NEVER!!"Lily shouted, jumping up and whipping out a plastic cross. Cora and Iris just shook their heads.

"What is that?"Pansy squeaked...just starring at her.

"A crucifix. It'll burn your evil souls if you come to close...now BACK EVIL BACK!!"

Draco just rolled his eyes and shoved passed her with Blaise and the rest. "Oh no...I think I'm burning!" Draco shouted back down the stairs in a mocking tone.

Lily starred in confusion at the plastic cross she was still holding. "I wonder why it didn't work?" Iris and Cora just shook their heads again and walked off.

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	24. Flu Network

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by Zemishly_

_As you can see this one takes place in the real world. BTW: I'm Lyssi or Lily. Janae is Iris and Emily(Zemishly)is Cora._

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27)._ _**I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network."**_

Emily yawned and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. She really hated having to wake up early. She stopped at the refrigerator when she heard a cough. Turning around she found Lyssi and Janae standing in her kitchen, in front of her fireplace, covered in what looked like green slime.

"Um...what are you guys doing in my house?"

"We took the 'flu' network."

"Lyssi...first: That's not real. Second: it's F-L-O-O...floo. Not flu. You're supposed to use the designated flowerpot on the mantel."Emily finished off by pointing to a flower pot that read floo powder, do not disturb.

"Oh...I told you Janae!"

"Whatever...can I just please change?Grant may be my brother but getting him to sneeze on me was just gross."

"Ewww...that's snott?"Emily made a face and Janae ran upstairs to Emily's room to shower and change.

Lyssi stood there for a while starring at Emily. It was quite an awkward moment. "So...can I change when Janae is done?"

Emily just nodded and rolled her eyes. She siriusly needed new friends...

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	25. DRINK ME

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Co-written by Zemishly

Thanks to JasmineLupin for reviewing the last chapter

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28)_**I am NOT to conjure the words DRINK ME on a vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.**

"Really Neville I swear. It tastes like strawberries. I found it n the back of Snape's potion box. And how can you not trust something that says DRINK ME on it." Cora smiled sweetly(she was a pro at it.)and handed the vial to Neville Longbottom, her potions partner.

"Okay."He took the potion and drank it. Cora sat back and smirked...Neville was such aneasy target most of the time...he trusted like, everyone.

Neville sheirked loudly and Professor Snape whipped around in surprise of the noise. Neville's whole face was turning bright green and his hair was sticking up on end and had now turned purple. Polka-dot like hives broke out all over his face and arms, they where coloured red. Snape growled and rummaged around his cabinet for an antidote. Finding one, he grabbed Neville by the collar and dragged him out of the classroom and to the nurse.

Cora smirked again and shook her head. Even the first years knew not to drink out of a drink me vial.

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	26. Dumbo

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-written by ZemISHly_

_No house-elves were harmed...save for the ones that jumped the year previous...they're dead. But they were stupid house-elves..._

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29) After the last unfortunate experience, I will NOT take the Hogwarts house-elves to see "Dumbo" as their Christmas treat.**

Lily was not a fast learner. Cora and Iris came into full awareness of this when Lily announced that she was taking the house elves to see Dumbo...again. Even after last year's _small_ incident. And besides, who in their right mind would let someone like Lily try and 'help' with anything, let alone House-elves.

"They love it!" Lily argued to Iris. "I mean last year they were inspired by it!"

"Yes. Yes they were...INSPIRED TO JUMP OFF THE ASTRONOMY TOWER!!" Iris yelled.

**30) Furthermore I will remember to put trampolines below the astronomy tower in case I momentarily overlook the first part of this resolution.**

**(THE NEXT DAY)**

"CORA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" Cora looked up to see Iris leaning out of the Astronomy tower window.

"Lily took the house-elves to see Dumbo last night."Cora replied as she situated the last of three trampolines.

With that said Iris jumped back into the room as two house-elves came running toward her and flung themselves out of the window. Cora just rolled her eyes and whipped out her wand.

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	27. RAID

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

**Co-written by Zemishly**

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31) I will NOT threaten Rita Skeeter with a can of Raid**

"Iris what is in your pocket?"Cora asked nervously as she came over to her best friend.

The two were standing outside of the trophy room. Rita Skeeter was interviewing Harry Potter about the triwizard tournment..again.

"Shut up! Here they come."Iris pulled out a spray can and pointed it at the door. She lowered it slightly as Harry walked out and smiled at him. He looked nervously at her and backed away over to were Cora was standing.

"BACK EVIL SKEETER LADY BACK!!"Iris shouted as Rita came waltzing out of the room.

"What on earth is that?"

Iris didn't answer, instead she started spraying furiously at Rita. The woman looked indignantly at her before hurrying back into the room and slamming the door.

"Wow...and I thought the incident with Seamus last month was the real low point."

Cora smiled and walked back to the common room with Harry, laughing and commenting on stupid stuff they had done. Iris was still examining the Raid can, trying to figure ut why it didn't work.

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Rita Skeeter with a can of Raid31) I will NOT threaten


	28. Draco's Firebolt

_Disclaimer: I own nothing_

_Co-Written by ZemISHly_

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32)**_I will not swap Draco's broom for one out of Filch's broom closet_

"Harry...remind me again what we're doing?"

"I told you already. All you have to do is get in the Slytherin dorms, steal Malfoy's broom and switch it with this one." Harry produced a broom from behind his back. It look ready to break any second.

"Don't you think that's a little Slytherin of you?"

"Cora! You promised, look Fred said he'll pay you 17 galleons after you give him Draco's broom and I already gave you 17. Besides...it's not like it's our team their playing tomorrow. It's just Ravenclaw."

"I know. Cho gave me 25 galleons to steal his broom."

"What! Your not supposed to be helping my ex."

"You'll live. Now stand guard."

**NEXT DAY**

"POTTER!"

"Hey Malfoy...why so tense? Are you that afraid of Ravenclaw?"

"What did you do with my broom?" Draco held up the remains of a shredded firebolt. After Harry finally convinced him it wasn't him he set off to find Cora.

"You said you were only going to hide the broom."

"I did."

"Who's shredded firebolt?"

"Oh...yeah. That's Zabini's actually...he tripped me in the hall yesterday, thought I'd get even."

"Right..."

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